In 2020 we are facing a lot more unknowns that can often leave us feeling a lack of control in our lives.
A respected friend of mine said, "My coach says to 'Control what we can control.' " Priceless wisdom and good reminder.
Over many years, I have slowly come to realize that We can only truly control our own response(s) to external situations.
To Consciously Choose our Responses, I suggest a loose process:
STOP & FEEL, QUESTION, BE INSPIRED, ANSWER, ACT -
As needed, repeat these actions in any order.
Actions build confidence and self-empowerment, even amidst challenges and a variety of feelings. Start small, practice and watch your actions and empowerment grow!
What small action can you DO today in response to current external situations? ❤ What gifts and talents can you apply to fuel your passion and needs?
Here is a small example:
Question: What can I do?
Inspiration: Observe what/who is entering your heart now.
Action: Send a quick text to her 😘 or call her asking how she is doing.
Feeling: Grateful for Leslie as a friend.
(Note: I have also shared a real-life response of mine below.)
Feeling: Frustrated with all of the division and lack of unity in this country.
Question: Where in my life do I feel most out-of-control during all of these external events? Where do I need to change my response? (rather than just crabbing about it - this is not working for me)
Answer: I need to reach out somehow to promote unity instead.
Question: What can I to DO?
Answer: Uh, IDK.
Action: Continue questioning myself.
Questions: What matters most and what would fit with my gifts and talents?
Inspiration: Meditations old and recent.
Answers: LOVE and getting that message out.
Question: How can I manage that?
Inspiration: Yard signs in my neighborhood, that I do not like.
Answer: Paint a yard sign of my own from an old sign I have!
Action: Ordered supplies to paint.
Feeling: Empowerment, but soon starts slipping away to daunting.
Question: Can I manage that in a timely fashion?
Answer: Probably not.
Feeling: Less motivated, doubting painting skills and timing.
Action: Evaluate for a course correction.
Questions: Can I paint it smaller, scan and upload it for digital printing? Is this too much for me?
Feeling: A bit unsure
Action: Go online to research sign dimensions.
Inspiration: Aha! There is a tool to create the art digitally online at the printing site!
Action: Dive into sign creation and try to order it.
Feeling: Excited and hopeful.
Issue: Somehow lose file while checking out.
Feeling: UGH! Tired.
Action: Stop and wait until the next day and recreate the sign and order it.
Action: Pick up and install sign!
Feeling: Sooo excited!
Action: Husband takes a photo for me with my sign and I text to family and friends.
Feeling: Proud and accomplished, a friend likes my sign and wants to buy one.
Action: I offer to gift it to her.
Feeling: Glad my self-expression and the message are appreciated and will get out in the world farther.
Issue: Over a few days, I realize one of the letters' color is not as expected and also wish it is two-sided .
Feeling: Disappointed. Unsettled.
Action: Call sign store to see if I can access the file to easily fix it.
Action: Start over creating the sign 2-sided. It went faster now the third time. (Third time's a charm!) Create an account with them to save my file.
Feeling: Gratitude that I had saved some detailed notes to help me and happy it went quicker. Confident that I can learn and grow.
Action: Pick up and install new & improved sign.
Feeling: Complete. Grateful for my perseverance. Competent.
I CAN . . . ! Feel high as a kite when I install my sign! Feel empowered and know my voice and actions matter. Happy every time I see it!
New Feeling: I miss coaching people as often.
New Inspirations: 1. Discussion of reactivating emails to connect with our clients 2. Discussion with friends about our own personal feelings of lack-of-control in this current situation and the quote above.
New Inspiration: Share my sign artwork as email content.
New Actions: Prepare this text for submission for the newsletter with the artwork. Coaching via email. :)
New Feelings: Brave, connected, confident I have done at least a little something to send more LOVE. I did what I could today.
Awareness: I started small just to send the artwork and maybe one line of text. If I had known I would invest time to write this blog, I would not have started. The first action of sending only the art, led me straight into my passion of coaching and kept me going!
Start small. It matters!